My sheets look like a crime scene.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
