now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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