trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
