From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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