Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
