i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
