She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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