as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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