He asked to "fluff my boner.."
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
