Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
