10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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