Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize