Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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