Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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