My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
