your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
