His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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