I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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