this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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