Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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