yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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