from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
