I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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