A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
