just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
