the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
