i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
