I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
