He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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