That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
