Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
