I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
