Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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