just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
