And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
