At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
