there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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