How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
