You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
