I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
