need another drink. this is the easiest way
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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