1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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