somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
