Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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