I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
