it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
