Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
just found out that she named her cat after me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
