is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
