The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
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Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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