I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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