im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize