Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
