im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
