so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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