I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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