it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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