Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My vagina just recognized that song.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
