Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
