His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
PANTIES FOUND
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