I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
